“How to Survive a Horror Movie” Gives Good Advice

In the movie “Scream”, the character, Randy, is a complete horror buff and has rules to surviving a horror movie.  For instance, he said you never say “I’ll be right back” because you won’t be coming back after that. Seth Gramme-Smith wrote a book with the same vision in mind; setting up rules and tips for surviving a horror movie, if you happen to find yourself stuck in one. This modern how-to guide, teaches a potential victim how to avoid certain death with step by step instructions. Seth

Gramme-Smith is also the author of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” and “Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter” which was recently made into a movie that comes out June 22nd.

With a foreword  by master horror director Wes Craven,  “How to Survive a Horror Movie” is a witty, campy, informative, and vital  guide/book for any horror fan to have. It’s divided up into sections, which are based off popular horror sub-genres (slasher films, zombies, aliens, etc.) and gives very specific directions on how to escape, what weapons to use , even how to trick your attacker when stuck in the “Terrorverse”

Once you realize you’re stuck in the Terrorverse, your next move is to execute the C.R.A.V.E.N. Method (wonder who that’s named after) describes this method as a kind of “stop, drop and roll” for horror movie victims, according to Smith.  C.R.A.V.E.N stands for Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape and North. According to Smith, if you follow this method, it is a sure fire way to survive a horror film.

In case you were not sure whether or not you are stuck in a horror movie, have no fear! The book gives you different scenarios to determine whether or not you are in a horror movie. This had to be one of the funniest parts of the book because 1.) How could you not tell you’re in a horror movie? Somehow I think zombies or vampires would be hard to miss and 2.) The scenarios Smith gives are hilarious. For example, Are you speaking Japanese? The book says “According to the laws of early twenty-first century cinema, anyone speaking Japanese is in a horror movie.”

The book also breaks down stereotypical horror movie characters, so you can identify which character you are and what your role in the movie would be. Some of these characters include “The Nice Guy with the Monosyllabic First Name” and “The Virginal Cop’s/Priest/Richest Man in Town’s Daughter.”

Once you have determined whether or not you’re in a horror movie, what character you are and what genre you’re in, the book also teaches you how to kill the bad guy in your movie, whether it be a serial killer, alien, vampire or even a demon.  Don’t know how to perform an exorcism but you’re with someone who’s possessed? Better flip to Chapter 666 and quick!

Feel like you still don’t have sufficient knowledge to conquer a horror movie? Have no fear! Smith offers up additional study material at the end of the novel. The study material consists of classic and popular horror movies that Smith feels would assist you in your survival in the movies.

As a horror fan myself, I definitely enjoyed the humor that comes with writing for the horror genre, but this book would be enjoyable for anyone looking for a campy novel.. or just looking to be prepared just in case they end of up in a horror movie.


2 thoughts on ““How to Survive a Horror Movie” Gives Good Advice

  1. Like this a lot. My son is obsessed with Horror movies, collects horror props, Psycho Sam and Creepy Cathy, makes the things. While I had nightmares from Night of the Living Dead for years. Just the trailer for the Exorcist was enough to interfere with my dream life. Maybe now I can walk into his room past the life-size

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