The Toast | AMERICA AGAIN : Re-Becoming The Greatness We Never Weren’t

With the election, I felt like I should be doing a little more political reading than I have been doing in the past few months. Election day is incredibly important and who better to give me the important political knowledge I need so despera

tely than Stephen Colbert.

Yes, you read correctly: Stephen Colbert.  His new book, AMERICA AGAIN: Re-Becoming The Greatness We Never Weren’t, is not only informative, and gives some insight the exceptionalism of America,  but it’s in 3D! How can you possibly go wrong with a book in 3D?! You can’t.

This book covered a lot of hot topics such as the economy (jobs and Wall Street), healthcare, energy and even had a section about elections. Yes, I realize that Colbert is not actually taking the outrageous stances that he projects on his show and writes about in this book, but just because they aren’t serious opinions does not make them any less enjoyable to read about.

As a recent college graduate, I was fortunate enough to find a job, but it probably would have been a lot easier if I had followed the tips Colbert was offering up in the “Jobs” section of his book.  Does your resume need some updating? Colbert gives some helpful hints on how to make your resume more appealing to employers. For example, under “work experience” he suggests using another word besides work.

“Worked? We know you worked. It was work. This sounds weak. Always make your job sound vital by using action verbs like jack-hammered, Wind-Sprinted, Sucker-Punched, Heimliched and NASCARed”.

If you ever heard the rumor that knowing another language would help you in your job search, Stephen Colbert is here to tell you you’re totally wrong. Never admit that because “it says you’re willing to cheat on English.”

Healthcare is a huge concern for every voter out there. Colbert believes that socialized healthcare is not the way to go, and even has a Canadian tell you how he prefers paying for American Healthcare over the free Canadian Healthcare if “you’re feeling so darn sick you must absolutely must see the doc right away.”  If you’re signing up for insurance for the first time and want to see what an insurance form would actually look like, have no fear, he has included an example of one “as a dry run.” Some of the questions on this form that you can look forward to answering are “Can you breathe? Has this been a recurring problem?” and  “If you smash your funny bone against something, is it funny?” Don’t worry ladies! He hasn’t forgotten about you, this form also includes questions like “Has God ever punished you with the Time of the Blood?” and “Is Aunt Flo in town?”

The “Election” section of the book covered some major factors that go into a candidate’s election campaigning, for example, fund raising and donations. He suggests that the big money is in small donors. And how do you get small donors? By spamming the hell out of their emails. He also covers voter fraud. Did you know Robin Williams disguised himself as Mrs. Doubtfire so he could vote twice for lax border laws that allow Scottish housemaids to steal American nannying jobs?! NEITHER DID I! Thank you Stephen Colbert for exposing a liar and a fraud!

While the actual Presidential Election itself is a very serious and important event, instead of trying to find some type of humor in those political memes, why not read AMERICA AGAIN : Re-Becoming The Greatness We Never Weren’t and actually have a good laugh.

 

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Written by: Katie Sperduti

 

 

 

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