Yeah, Mike Minch may claim that the greatest screen portrayal of Thanksgiving is the classic John Candy film Planes, T
rains, and Automobiles--and he’s entitled to his opinion–but I have to take issue with it. Not because of any fault in the movie (or the fact that I…well…I’ve never seen it) but rather because as a baby of the 80s and a child of the 90s everything can be summed up by Saved by the Bell.
While my column on the Testament of Zack is on hiatus, I knew instinctively that the time to revisit at least the topic matter of my life’s mission to spread the word to the public was the Thanksgiving season. Many of you are familiar with the tale of the Bayside Bunch and the homeless girl at the mall in the Original Series Christmas Episode–an issue so easily dealt with by Zack Attack that not only was the girl never heard from again, neither were the homeless. Fast forward two years later and Zack, The Screech, Slater, Kelly, and the new girls are in college tackling their greatest threat yet: Thanksgiving for inner city youth in Saved by the Bell: The College Years Episode 10, Season Only.
You see, if theres a problem, yo, they solve it. Check out the hook while A.C. resolves it…even though he couldn’t fix the problem of the broken down car. When the gang was going to leave the school for home at Thanksgiving–as losers might do–they end up staying to help The Screech get some turkey for the inner city youth who have never seen turkey due some Screechtastic circumstances. Unfortunately there is no turkey! Not even their heavy hitter well-past-his-prime R.A. Bob Golic can help because he wasn’t around or was useless (as R.A.’s tend to be). So using the osmosis power beam of Morrisicity, The Zack is able to conjure some familiar spirits to bring them salvation.
In this instance the true spirit of Christma….Thanksgiving becomes apparent as friends and…well…celebrities bearing gifts arrive! The most famous of them all, Mr. Belding, arrives with a turkey just in time! He heard his favorite students, along with some total strangers, needed a turkey, so he left his spin-off, his wife, and his infant child (that may have been written out of existence), so that he could hand deliver his family’s turkey–BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! Also arriving (though slightly less important or famous than Beld-O) was Brian Austin Green (who was not with his at-that-time 9 year old wife-to-be)…or maybe it was the kid from SeaQuest….and Marv Albert…ALSO BEARING TURKEYS! (and maybe Six from Blossom was also there…which, if that is the case, is where she has remained for the past 18 years). All due to the fact—that fantastic fact—that these kids needed help and Zack was there the universe realigned itself to solve the problem showing that the true spirit of Thanksgiving is the Christmas miracle.
So on that note, I’d like to leave you all with heart felt wishes of an enjoyable meal and a fowl delivered by either a television drama star or a soon to be disgraced sports announcer. I know that’s all I ever wanted. If you’re ever in trouble just do what Zack would do…nothing, the universe never lets anything bad happen ever.
Happy Thanksgiving and Zack Bless you all.
Written by Michael Samuels