The Toast | Ted

My Facebook feed was exploding with Ted statuses the other night. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who was anxiously waiting for the movie to finally come out on DVD.  The movie was a like a giant Family Guy/American Dad party and i

t should come as no surprise because it was written/directed and starred creator Seth MacFarlane. This is MacFarlane’s first movie and he nailed it.

When I went to pick the movie (I ordered in OnDemand from Time Warner Cable) there were two versions, TV-MA and R (they were also edited and unedited versions). When you have to pick between TV- MA and a rated R movie, you have to figure that the movie is pretty dirty/vulgar/trashy/awesome, and it definitely was. If you don’t enjoy toilet humor, then you might as well quit reading this while you’re ahead.

Growing up is hard, especially when you have no friends. John Bennett was a loner and no one wanted to be his friend. A group of bullies beating up a child told him to go away when he asked to join in, even the kid getting beat up told John to leave! When he receives a bear for Christmas, he makes a wish for his bear to be real so they can be best friends forever. His wish comes true.

John is so excited that he runs downstairs to show his parents (Alex Borstein and Ralph Garman), and needless to say, they’re shocked (and it’s hilarious,) but once that “oh my god, my son’s stuffed animal has come to life!” initial shock has worn off, they look at is as a miracle. Teddy then becomes an instant celebrity… at least for a little bit.

Flash forward to 2012 and Ted (Voiced by MacFarlane) is still living with John (Mark Wahlberg) and his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis), and now he isn’t a child, he’s a man bear, a drinking, weed-smoking, foul-mouthed manbear. Ted often gets in the way of John’s work, making him late or getting him to leave early. One plus about John’s job would be his coworkers. Patrick Warburton makes an appearance as a coworker who gets drunk and texts someone to beat him up at night.  We find out who the aggressor is later on in the movie, and it’s a definitely a surprise.

Lori sees the pattern and asks John to have Ted move out. For the sake of their relationship and John’s job, he complies, but he’s not entirely happy about it. From here, the shenanigans ante is upped and Ted meets a crazed fan and this isn’t a harmless, teeny-bopper, he’s a bonafied creeper.  Surprisingly, this movie lacked jokes/references to Family Guy or American Dad, which I thought was a good move. There might have been one or two, but not enough to be shamelessly promoting the shows or be obnoxious.

The movie also features Giovanni Ribisi, Joel McHale, Norah Jones and Sam Jones. Sound like a strange cast? It actually all ties in together and works in it’s own strange way. Ted is not suitable for children or anyone who lacks a sense of humor. From raunchy sex jokes to just plain dumb “bro” humor, this movie keeps you in stitches until the very end.

This movie is by no means going to earn an Oscar, but that doesn’t take away from the quality of the script and cast. It’s such a simple and ridiculous concept, but believe it or not, it works. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time and I definitely won’t look at a teddy bear the same ever again. If you didn’t get it for Christmas, make sure you check out Ted! It’s available to rent or own now.



Written by: Katie Sperduti




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