RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES

There’s been a slight change in programming tonight. Instead of the scheduled review of Return of the Killer Tomatoes, we now present to you…

Just kidding, but who doesn’t like a gratuitous dose of girls from the 80s in their high waisted bikinis!?

 In what has to be one of George Clooney’s best performances, the campy franchise returns for a second round. Don’t be fooled by the title though because even though  it may say that the killer tomatoes have returned but it wasn’t much of a comeback for the vegetables… or was it?

After a glorious victory against the blood hungry vegetable during The Great Tomato War, the human race tries to resume their normal lives but there’s one difference; tomatoes are outlawed.

Our hero from the last movie has also tried to regain some normalcy by opening up a pizza shop (that have the most disgusting looking pizzas ever. ) and hired his nephew Chad(Anthony Starke), to work there along with his buddy Matt (Clooney).

On a delivery to the mysterious Professor Gangreen’s house, his crush Tara(Karen Waldron) answers the door. After trying to make small talk with the gorgeous blonde (who is not much of a talker), he discovers that she is the lover of the Professor (she also cooks and cleans). Crushed, Chad heads back to the pizza shop but what he doesn’t know yet is that he’s about to get a second chance.

There’s something odd about Tara. Besides the fact that the wide-eyed bombshell isn’t much for conversation (and when she does, it’s pretty awkward), she’s also not human.

*SPOILER*

Tara is actually a tomato and one of the Professors experiments. His big plan? Instead of actual tomatoes infiltrating the human race, why not be a little more inconspicuous? He will convert tomatoes into humans and no one would think twice.

Even though Tara knows about the evil plans of the Professor, she doesn’t seem bothered by him or his wicked plot until she sees his abusive side to a failed experiment; a fuzzy tomato that she dubs “FT” (or fuzzy tomato).

Because she has been locked up in that house with the Professor for so long, she doesn’t know anyone and has nowhere to go when she decides to take FT and run. The only person she even knows a little bit is Chad the pizza boy, so she shows up to the pizza shop on a dark rainy night.

 This is pure luck for the shy pizza boy who, unlike his roommate, never seems to get the girl. So when his crush shows up out of nowhere, there could be nothing sketchy about this, right? What Chad doesn’t know is that he’s about to get himself into a situation that he is in no way prepared for.  Will it ever be safe to eat veggies again?

In a movie that makes a complete mockery of itself from the start, it’s hard to not love it. One could say that maybe it tried too hard to be ridiculous and campy(it had a huge bit about being so bad and expensive that they had to use endorsements to fund the film), but seriously, it’s a movie about killer tomatoes, what’s not ridiculous about that from the start? It’s streaming on Netflix now.

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